rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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