Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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