I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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