I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
