And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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