I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
