how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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