just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
