that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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