He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
