I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
