my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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