Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
another moral hangover. fuck.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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