please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
