The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Everyone says I win the strip club
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
