We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
