ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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