the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
