Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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