I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You took a bar mat shot.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
