sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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