After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
