Acid is not a monday night drug
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
