I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
