You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
