I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
