I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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