sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my sisters under your porch take her home
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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