Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
