he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
