How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
