What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
