she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
