he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
