We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
