I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
