True but thats because hes a fetus.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
