you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you would pick up someone in the library
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
