her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
