The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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