Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
