We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
