I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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