I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
