bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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