I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
