I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
