You just made me feel so damn special
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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