I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
