weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
