he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
